Don’t Build a Netdeck: A Parody
by Drew “Darth Weasel” Barton
Raw Deal Staff Writer
darthweasel@hotmail.com

I should preface this by saying the following article has absolutely nothing to do with anything except as a parody of a song I find extremely funny (which can be heard at http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=48521550). The words had a weird interplay in my head. In the interests of full disclosure, I have no strong opinion for or against net decking and the rewritten lyrics should in no way, shape or form be construed as supporting or rejecting the practice of net decking. It is meant entirely to be a light hearted and hopefully humorous piece that, if you have the music and meter of “Don’t Download This Song” by Weird Al Yankovich in your head might bring a smile to your face. Enjoy.

Once in a while maybe you will feel the urge
to break international deck building mores
by downloading a decklist from tournament reports
on PCG or TCO or CI or Squared Circle
But deep in your heart you know the guilt would drive you mad
and the shame would leave a permanent scar
'Cause you start out netdecking, and then you're winning extra games
And selling cards from tournaments for fees
So don't copy this deck
find new ideas all on your own
Go out and build your own deck like you know that you should
Oh don't you dare netdeck
Oh you dont want to mess with the online groups you see
They'll mock you if you copy off that deck
It doesn't matter if you're a newbie or a defending world champ
They'll treat you like the evil hardbitten powergaming scum you are
So don't copy this deck
find new ideas all on your own
Go out and build your own deck like you know that you should
Oh don't you dare netdeck
Don't take away credit from geniuses like me
How else can I do out and dominate each new tourney?
And brilliant new deck tricks, these things don't grow on trees
So all I ask is, everybody please....
Don't copy this deck
Even Bruce Stark knows its wrong
Go out and build your own deck like you know that you should
oh don't copy this deck
don't copy this deck
or you might end up banned like the old FLAU
go out and build your own deck like you know that you should
don't you dare netdeck
or you'll lose all respect before too long
go out and build your own deck like you know that you should
Oh don't you dare netdeck